


Desperation

by lesbianmezzo



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, average run of the mill mcpriceley, because they're supportive of their best friends, but with added chris and arnold hijinks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 13:03:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9182944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianmezzo/pseuds/lesbianmezzo
Summary: Arnold then grinned mischievously. He sat up to face Elder Thomas. "Well, Poptarts, if you're in, we could do a spot of matchmaking."Nothing ever seems to happen between Connor McKinley and Kevin Price, except longing looks and gentle brushes that are just platonic enough to not imply anything. Chris and Arnold think that something should be done.





	

"It's been _far_ too long." Arnold said melodramatically, splayed out on the small sofa. "They just look at each other hopelessly, like, all the time and it's miserable." It was in the middle of the day: Everyone else was out, and Arnold was supposed to be brainstorming some ideas for a talk he was to be holding that evening, but so far, he and Chris had only talked about other residents of the mission hut. 

Namely, their respective mission companions.

"Elder Cunningham, you've been here 3 weeks! And that's including those dreadful first few days." Chris replied, attempting to pull Arnold up into a proper sitting position. "Although, I agree it's kind of taking it's toll on me now... but what can we do about them?"

Arnold thought for a moment, then grinned mischievously. He sat up to face Elder Thomas. "Well, Poptarts, if you're in, we could do a spot of matchmaking." Chris looked a little startled. "Oh! Nothing too... obvious, just a few little hints and nudges. It can't take them too long, can it? Just... start a conversation about it casually tonight. Find out some information and report back."

"How am I supposed to casually slip that into conversation?"

"I thought you talked about that sort of stuff? Wasn't it McKinley who helped you get up the confidence to talk to _James_?"

Chris grinned and went slightly red at the mention of James "Yes," his face fell. "but when it comes to himself, he's very closed up." 

"If anyone can get him to open up, it's you. Use your imagination."

"How?" 

"I don't know bud, it'll come to you somehow. More importantly I think they're just getting back so we better look like we've been doing something." 

\----

Connor and Chris lay in their beds, supposedly going to sleep. Connor was awake, thinking of Kevin, and Chris was awake, worrying about how to approach the subject.

"Connor, are you still awake?" 

"Yes." Came the nervous whisper from the other side of the room. "As always."

"Are you alright? You seem a little more agitated than usual."

"I'm perfectly fine, Chris." Connor paused, deciding whether or not to continue. "I've just got a couple of things on my mind at the moment." 

"Would you like to talk about them?" Chris offered.

Connor shifted nervously "I don't know if that's quite necessary-" 

"You keep saying we've got to let our feelings out, I've told you everything about James-" 

Connor hummed uncertainly in response. 

"Talking helps, Connor. Why are you so determined to bottle it all up?" 

Connor sniffed and propped himself up a little. "Alright, Chris, I'll tell you, here goes. Let's say, hypothetically, that _another_ one of us were having gay thoughts. And let's say those thoughts were, once again - _hypothetically_ \- for another person here, in the mission hut. But unlike in your situation, that hypothetical other person could never, ever reproach the elder's feelings."

"I get your drift... I'm sure if you talked to Ke- him or asked him-"

A small, shocked gasp flew into the darkness. "How did you- I can't talk to him, you know I can't. Maybe one day. But not now." 

"Of course. Well, as long as you're ok."

"Of course I'm ok, I'm always ok. Goodnight."

\----

It was after curfew. Kevin looked into the flimsy mirror on the wall. It was a little grimy, scratched, and it wasn't hung up, just haphazardly stuck up with parcel tape over a crack in the wall. He spotted Arnold staring at the mirror from his bed. 

Unlike Chris, Arnold was much more direct with his questioning.

"Hey, Bud, I meant to ask you, how's McKinley? You're spending an awful lot of time together... and you always seem to be looking at him, and smiling at him..." Arnold trailed off, smirking. "Oh, and touching his shoulder and arm _just_ lightly enough that it's only _platonic_."

 "You've noticed, haven't you." Kevin sighed. "Of course you've noticed. I thought it might've passed you by- at least one more day." 

"Well, I wouldn't say you're being very subtle..." Arnold shrugged. 

Kevin's hands flew to the sides of his face. "Oh god- do you think he's noticed me looking at him?" 

"You mean when you've been checking him out." Arnold smirked.

"Yes, you know what I mean." Kevin muttered. "Do you think he's noticed? Does he think I'm weird?" 

"You _like_ him." Arnold grinned triumphantly.

"Well, I thought you'd have figured that by now at least, O Great Prophet."

"No need to use sarcasm, buddy. I'm still your mission companion; and I'm still your best friend- I am still here for you." Arnold pulled him into a tight hug, and Kevin smiled, before frowning again, remembering his current situation.

"That's cute and profound," said Kevin, as Arnold released him, noticing the tension.  "But the question very much remains: what do I do?" Kevin's eyes darted around rapidly, as if searching for the answer.   "I mean, what did you say to Nabalungi when you realised you had feelings for her?" 

Chuckling, Arnold crawled into his bed and wrapped the blanket around him. "I didn't. She just came up to me and kissed me on the cheek, and told me she liked me." 

"But like, before that."

"This happened last week. I'd known her 10 days at this point." 

"God." Kevin flung himself into bed, the frame creaking dangerously with his landing. "How did you cope? Even 10 days- how did you cope?"

"I didn't. Remember, I spent the days between the mission president leaving, and when Naba and I finally got together, ranting to you, and kind of making a squealing noise and going red when she was nearby."

"Ah yes, I remember." Resting his head on Arnold's shoulder, Kevin sighed again. "This is a bit of a disaster, look at me, look at this."

"Look, don't get anxious about it, don't get upset," Arnold patted Kevin's forehead and drew the blanket up to his chin, tucking him in. "It's ok. Sleep on it. You don't have to do anything just now."

"Goodnight Arnold."

"'Night night Kev."

Pushing his hair back and rolling away from Arnold, Kevin sighed deeply. He had three options. Continue the way he was going, and possibly risk completely destroying a friendship in the future, hide it, or repress. And he had seen what that had done to Connor, and he wasn't about to let the destruction of the thoughts consume him. And besides, he was only 19, and had been stuck alone with very few people for 3 weeks: It's probably just a fleeting crush. He'd get over it soon. 

\----

He did not get over it soon. 

Many of the other Elders had noticed now. They'd all share looks of despair in return for each longing look that Connor and Kevin gave each other over the dinner table. They would roll their eyes, seeing them curled up on the sofa: the two of them leaving just enough room to make the whole situation "strictly platonic". They'd see Connor's worried expressions when he found that Kevin had been awake since 5am one day ("How are you even standing up?" "The wonderful miracle of coffee"). They would all agree it was getting a bit ridiculous. 

Arguably, Arnold and Chris had it the worst. With Kevin falling more and more in love, but convinced that it was unrequited, Arnold was watching his heart break every day, and he couldn't bear to see that happen to his best friend. He'd listen to Kevin's besotted ramblings, which he always ending with a sigh and a sad shake of the head, as Arnold watched him climb into bed and try to fall asleep.

If Connor wasn't repressing his emotions, he was certainly trying to hide them. Chris could see through the smile he plastered on top of everything, and Connor was not ok. He'd toss and turn at night, and be restless the entire day. Chris could only stroke Connor's hair as he tried to help him fall back to sleep, and aid him with tasks during the day.

Arnold had assessed the situation, and decided it was time for what he called ' _Stage 2'_. He called together Naba and Chris to once again, discuss the situation.

"Well, it's clearly not going to happen on its own is it?" Arnold whined. "We have to do _something_."

"It would be better to leave them to talk about it together I think." Naba interjected, but just Arnold snorted in reply.

"Like that's ever going to happen. At the same time they're spending every waking minute of the day attached at the hip, and dancing around their feelings for each other. It's physically painful to watch." 

"Arnie, you're doing your best-"

"Thanks Naba," Arnold sighed. "I just want to see them happy. Kevin looks like a dejected puppy. He's just a tiny gay puppy that's got gay feelings for his little gay puppy friend." 

"Accurate metaphor." Chris agreed. "What can we do?" 

"Well, don't ask where I found it, but I have a _secret weapon_." He reached behind him to retrieve a small, but thick yellow notebook, emblazoned with the Disney logo on the cover. "Believe it or not, Kevin writes a diary."

"I very much do believe it. It's very ' _Elder Price_ '." 

"Well, I've looked through it -I know, I know, I t _echnically_ asked him first-and it only starts after we properly arrived here, after the mission president. Guess he was too busy drinking a gallon of coffee a day to write before that." 

Poptarts looked a little confused. "So... what do we do with the diary?" 

Then followed Arnold's mischievous smirk. "We leave it around... you know... where McKinley can find it." 

"What about all the personal things he's written?" Naba asked anxiously.

"Oh please, it basically just detailed descriptions like he's already told me: of "His sapphire eyes!!!" And "His gorgeous auburn hair!!" Ginger, Kev. It's it's ginger." 

Naba shrugged. "If it gets them to stop being idiots I'm all for it!" 

"Arnold- shouldn't we be a little bit careful- we don't want to make either of them uncomfortable."

"Quite right Poptarts. But let me remind you, our mission is not to force them together, it is merely a helpful nudge in the right direction." Arnold looked around. "Where should we leave it? Where's he likely to find it?"

"His office!" Naba answered. "That's where he spends most of his time right? Paperwork and forms and things, I help him sometimes. We talk about boys."

"Do you talk about me?" Said Arnold, smiling and leaning towards her.

"All the time, Arnie." She replied, grinning.

"Guys, please." Chris pleaded "Should we go with Connor's office then?" He gestured to the small door next to his and Connor's room. 

"Yes!" Arnold leapt off the sofa and skipped over to the door. 

The door to Connor's office was low, and thin. It had "District Leader" written in uniform print on the door, with a scrap of paper reading "Elder McKinley" stuck above it. The door opened into a very small room, lit by a single lightbulb on the ceiling. The desk was not wide, and it ran along one wall. There were shelves above and below the desk filled with files and books and paperwork sent by the Mission president and others high up, and some papers written by Connor. Increasing numbers of these letters were written by people interested in the church of Arnold. 

Connor would have meetings in his office with Nabalungi to discuss matters of the Church, which more often than not, ended with Naba consoling Connor as he talked hopelessly about Kevin. 

Arnold placed the diary carefully on top of a pile of papers. "And now we wait." He closed the door quietly.

\----

Connor opened the door and sat down at his desk. He began to open and read the few letters they had received that week, when he noticed something strange. 

A yellow cover, with a ribbon marking the current place in the book. A Disney logo on the front. Connor turned it over in his hands. It couldn't be... could it? Well it's not likely to be anyone else's, is it? 

Return it, or read it? Well, it wouldn't matter if he just read maybe one entry, would it? He opened to the most recent entry, and began to read. 

_Oh god. It keeps happening. I should tell him, but I can't. I can't do it. He'd never reproach my feelings- I was too arrogant when I arrived. I am too arrogant, too irritating. I'm not Arnold, I'm unoriginal, and on more than one occasion I've been reminded of my ego- and besides, this is strictly against all the rules. He would never like me back, and this has been going on too long. And to make matters worse, I can't leave his side. He's gorgeous, he's wonderful, he's charming, and he's so kind. And I need to stop._

_K_

Connor's heart burnt with jealousy. Who could this be about? It couldn't be him. Whoever Kevin had a crush on, he was clearly deep in love- ironic, as Connor could say the same for himself at this point, every thought of his was filled with Kevin's eyes, his smile, his voice. Connor wondered if this was what heartbreak felt like, as he tried to prevent himself from crying. 

On the other hand, Connor was still his friend, and still cared about him. So he still needed to make sure Kevin was alright, as much as it pained him to do so. 

Kevin himself was sat at the dining table, cup of coffee in hand, deciphering more of Arnold's writings. 

"Elder Price- c-could I have a word?" Connor stammered. 

"Of course!" Kevin replied, leaving his coffee and paper on the table, and entering Connor's office.

Connor held up the diary. "Is this yours?" 

Kevin let out a very small, high pitched noise and nodded. 

"I think we need to talk about it." 

"You read it, then?" Kevin mumbled, a blush creeping up his neck.

"I read... extracts."

"I- I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to read it- I'll work at Turning It Off, I promise, I assume you want me to get out of your sight, or something?"

"What are you talking about? I want to help you."

"To... help?" Kevin squeaked.

"You seem to be suffering under a lot of guilt at the moment. The last thing I want is for you to be upset about it." 

"Elder McKinley, I-"

"Call me Connor. There's not really need for any formality. This is a personal matter, after all. I'm aware of these feelings you seem to be having, and I just wanted to let you know that it's ok. That I'm here for you."

"But- you're not... mad at me for what I wrote?" 

"I'm sure you're aware that I've been having thoughts of a similar nature."

Kevin squeaked at an even higher pitch . "You have?"

"Having gay thoughts isn't wrong, remember? We stopped all of that when we left the church." Connor placed an awkward hand on Kevin's shoulder, and Kevin looked up at him, meeting his eyes. It was then he decided to sacrifice his own feelings. Kevin deserved to be properly happy, and his happiness was more important than Connor's. "Now, the person who you're having these thoughts about doesn't need to know, if you don't want them to, but I can't bear to see you in that much pain-"

Kevin drew a very short breath, cutting Connor off, but hesitated before actually speaking. "Connor, I need to know, how much did you read." 

"Just one entry."

"And did this entry mention... the name of the person in question?" Kevin took a step forward. Connor noticed that he was shaking, blushing, and how close he was. They were almost kissing. But they weren't kissing, because Connor was pretty sure he would've passed out by then.

"No." 

"I think he deserves to know." Kevin took a step back, and his eyes met Connor's again.

"Of course you don't have to tell him, I just need to make sure you're ok-

 "Connor," Kevin interrupted  "the person I have feelings for- it's you." 

Connor's eyes widened in shock. "What?" 

"I'm sorry- I've ruined everything- I thought, well, maybe I was wrong- but... anyway. I'm sorry, I couldn't hold it in any long-" Kevin was silenced by the soft pressure of Connor's lips on his. 

When Connor pulled away, Kevin stood stunned. "I- I wasn't expecting that reaction."

"I wasn't expecting you to say you were having feelings for me. But unexpected things happen, Kevin." Connor grinned. "I... have to admit- I have feelings for you too."

"I- kind of guessed... after that-"

"Actually, let me rephrase that. I love you, Kevin Price. I have done ever since you arrived."

And with that, Kevin broke into the widest, happiest genuine smile he had ever had, and as they wrapped their arms around each other and leaned in, Connor knew it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

\---

"So. Our mission is complete." 

Once again, Arnold and Chris sat on the sofa in the common room of the mission hut, both much relieved that all of the "tension" was over, and having a snack of a celebratory poptart, and a glass of apple juice, which had become a rare pleasure whilst in Uganda. 

"Our mission?" Chris snorted "I thought that was to 'spread the word of Yoda'." He waved his arm around in a dramatic exaggerated gesture. 

"Side-Quest then." Arnold leant back into the worn cushions on the couch. "Do you think there's more work for us in this field, perhaps?" 

Chris looked behind Arnold at Schrader, sitting at the table and looking hopefully towards Davis' room. "You know, Arnold. I think there might be."

**Author's Note:**

> Most of these fics evolve from headcanons that I have with my girlfriend Megs, because of course they do.  
> You can find her fic here: http://archiveofourown.org/users/meggysmeg
> 
> I'm on tumblr!! http://lesbianmezzo.tumblr.com  
> Follow me for mcpriceley and theatre shitposts,,,
> 
> (Kevin is rlly overdramatic in his diary just because. He's Kevin. We know his mind is overdramatic af)


End file.
